Catholic Guilt

Sad to say that the only thing that I ever really got out of being raised Catholic was guilt and an obsession with rosary beads and religous pendants. I think it's because I really like "outfits". My favorite pendant is the nautical jesus pendant.

Figures

I was in the mood for a snack so I went downstairs to the vending machine to get some candy. No one was around so I farted. So what right no one's around. Then I hear "hey lindsay check this out" It was the security dude. Awesome right. It's not "hey lindsay" on his way passing by it's hey lindsay chit chat chit chat while i'm wondering if I should try and waft away the damage and if he would notice........The worst part is that this isn't my first akward interaction with this guy. The last time was 6 or 7 months ago. I was accompanied with liquid beligernace and asked him out only to find out that he was married. Yes.....The awkwardness continued from that point on and I think that possible today was the peak?

First Conversation:


Drunk Girl: "oh hey how's it going"

SG: "good"

Drunk Girl: "Awesome...Hey I was wondering do you have a girlfriend? cause if you don't do you wanna grab a drink"

SG: *picks up left hand and waves wedding ring"

Drunk Girl: "I'm an ASSHOLE" *runs away (seriously runs)